All That I Ever Was
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: Jason is there when Lucky endangers the lives of Elizabeth, Cameron, and Jake.


Prompt - Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk

**Note**: This is just something that popped up. The story skips around between lyrics; think of it more as a montage than anything else. This is not a spoiler fic because at this point there are no legitimate spoilers to predict the subject matter, though the fic _is_ slightly AU.

In case you're wondering, I don't have all the answers for this story. I don't know WHY Elizabeth insisted on staying with Lucky despite her and Jason's...circumstances. The end part of this story literally just flashed into my head and I had to write it. It's just the way it is.

**All That I Ever Was**

"But other than the international spy and doctor thing…" Patrick Drake's eyes twinkled as he eased closer to Robin, who smirked up at him. "You and your mom are a lot alike."

_**We'll do it all**_

She shook her head, her blue scrubs rustling with the movement. "Name one way how."

_**Everything**_

"You're both strong, focused, extremely beautiful." He stepped forward, unmindful of the orderlies that rushed around in the wide hallway leading from the ambulance dock to the OR. "And the last time I checked? Intelligence was a major turn-on."

Robin smiled to herself, tucking her chin into her chest as a heated little flush stole across her cheeks. She opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by a young EMT as he and a couple others wheeled in three patients on a gurney.

"We've got a domestic situation," he yelled out, wheeling in the victims. "They need to be rushed to the OR, now!"

Patrick jumped back as Robin did the same, allowing the team to push the gurneys on through. The older doctor's brown eyes narrowed as he caught a fleeting look at the man strapped to the gurney, but Robin was the first to recognize him through the gauze and protective strapping.

"Oh, my God." Her hand covered her mouth as another, smaller victim was pushed by. "…Lucky. And…?"

_**On our own**_

"Cameron," Patrick finished as a feeling of dread began to build in the pit of his stomach. His dark eyes flew to the next team as they wheeled in the final patient and he strained to peer over their shoulders, hoping against hope that the eight-and-a-half month pregnant woman strapped to the stretcher wasn't her.

"Elizabeth." Kelly's voice cut through the bustling area but Patrick didn't acknowledge her. His heart skipped two beats as he watched his close friend being wheeled into the awaiting OR, as pale as the sheet she lay upon. "I'm scrubbing in."

Robin managed to shut her mouth as the obstetrician whirled on her feet and ran off to see to their friend, and she wobbled back a step before turning on her heel and making a beeline for the desk. "I'm calling Jason."

_**We don't need anything**_

By the time she returned, Patrick had already gotten the details from one of the EMTs. "He was right," the doctor replied quietly as Robin raced back to him, eyeing the operating room with growing trepidation. "It was a domestic violence situation."

_**Or anyone**_

"Oh, God." Robin's eyes remained trained on the occupied OR. Her mind was telling her to move, but her feet couldn't quite act on the signal. "What happened? Please don't tell me-"

"It was Lucky." Patrick ran a hand through his hair, unable to believe the words that came out of his mouth. "…Elizabeth came home and found him on the floor by Cameron's body."

Her eyes flew around the area, trying to find the stretcher with the smallest victim. "Oh, no, Cameron…"

"He got into Lucky's pills. Ingested several and then passed out. Lucky didn't know what to do – a neighbor says she heard him yelling at Cameron to get up. At some point he must have picked up his gun because when Elizabeth came home, she found her son unconscious and…and all we know is that the gun went off and here they are."

Robin clamped her hands over her eyes, taking a deep breath before she could even think coherently. "I'm scrubbing in. Cameron's mine."

Patrick nodded, his gaze now traveling to the two stretchers that stood side-by-side in the OR as mother and son were lost in a mass of active nurses and orderlies. "I'll wait for Jason."

_**If I lay here**_

The nurses parted, making room for Dr. Scorpio as she moved closer to inspect the damage. The little boy's vitals weren't promising, but the more time she wasted the less of a chance he had.

_**If I just lay here**_

Kelly's dark eyes met Robin's briefly as the other doctor began standard overdose procedure. With a heavy sigh, she moved toward her close friend who was now unconscious on the stretcher only a few feet away.

She adjusted her gloves, trying not to look directly at Elizabeth but found her eyes helplessly drawn to the young mother's pale countenance. It was a simple bullet wound with a clean entrance and exit. It wasn't close enough to the fetus to cause damage, but there was still cause for grave concern.

Patrick peered grimly through the windows in the operating room and then glanced at the clock before moving away. Jason Morgan would be here any moment, and he would want to know why the mother of his child was currently unconscious on a stretcher in the middle of a packed OR.

_**Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**_

He was being restrained just outside the operating wing. Patrick heard him yelling before he even saw him as the young doctor walked down the long hallway, his eyes focused on the polished tiles that gleamed brightly under the harsh fluorescent lighting.

_**I don't quite know**_

Carly was with him, her hands on his arm keeping him from breaking loose. Her watery blue eyes met Patrick's grave gaze and held, and she pursed her lips together when she saw the look in his eyes.

_**How to say**_

Jason saw him, stopped. Time held, suspended between them as the two men simply looked at each other. Patrick broke contact first, his gaze faithfully returning to the floor as he slowly shuffled forward, trying to prepare himself to break the news. The final weeks of Elizabeth's pregnancy had been Hell on her husband since the child wasn't his, and he had indulged the anger with pills and a weapon and that was why Jason Morgan had been called out of a meeting with news that his unborn child had just been rushed into the OR.

_**How I feel**_

Robin Scorpio talked to her patients while she operated. Several of her assisting nurses and interns found it rather creepy, her almost necrophilic tableside manner, but none had ever spoken a word against it.

"Children are the most precious thing in the world," she murmured to the unconscious child as she worked, her small hands moving with graceful precision. "You never really know that until you have one of your own. That's what your mom told me when I thought I was going to be a mom."

_**Those three words**_

"She loves you very much, but you already know that."

A nurse glanced up at the doctor, inwardly awed at how Robin could keep her voice calm and soothing despite the fact that she was operating on the son of one of her colleagues.

_**Are said too much**_

"We were all sitting in the gazebo at the park – you, me and your mom – and it was right after she had been kidnapped. Do you remember that? I hope you don't."

Robin pursed her lips shut for a moment, swallowing roughly as the monitors beeped in the background. "I told her that she got away and that she survived because she was a fighter. And you know what she told me? She told me that it was because of you. She told me that it was her son – her beautiful little boy – that made her keep fighting no matter what she was up against."

_**They're not enough**_

She bent over the table slightly for a better angle, but her dark eyes lingered fleetingly on the little boy's closed eyes and the long, curly brown lashes.

"And _I'm_ not letting _you_ go without a fight."

_**If I lay here**_

"His blood alcohol level is appalling." Noah Drake's voice, strained and regretful as he examined the police officer's head wound, cut through the tense operating room. "It's a wonder he didn't do himself more damage than fall and cut his head open on a table."

The interns looked at each other. Noah didn't know the whole story, but they didn't say a word.

_**If I just lay here**_

"I want to see her."

Patrick swallowed past a sizeable lump in his throat, wishing he could do more than stare at the black scuffmark on the tiles no longer than a stick of gum. "I want to let you."

"Patrick…"

He shook his head hard, feeling Carly's hand on his arm as she helped keep her best friend steady. "But I can't. I-I can't let you go over there."

His response quieted the blonde, who reluctantly understood that hospital policy was hospital policy. Jason, on the other hand, let out a heavy shuddering sigh as his watery eyes bore into the doctor's downcast ones.

"She's that bad?"

_**Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**_

"I'll have you know," Robin started, motioning for one of her nurses to move closer, "that I have an excellent track record when it comes to patients. I just need you to stick with me, okay, Cameron? Can you do that for me, baby doll? I promise, I won't keep you here any longer than I really need to."

She bit her lip under the mask as the anesthesiologist adjusted the little boy's line. "You won't have to go back to that, Cameron. Whatever happened today…you won't have to go back. Your mom can't make you that promise right now, so I'm going to. I know her, and she'd never put you in danger."

_**Forget what we're told**_

"It's a mother's job to protect her children." Robin swallowed roughly and had to pause for a deep breath. "And your mom did a great job. But some things just aren't in her control. But when this is all over…Cam, I know she'd never take you there again. Her first priority will be to make sure that you and your little sister are safe."

_**Before we get too old**_

"Hey, did you think about that?" She smiled despite herself, tilting her head at the child. "Did you, Cam? You're going to be a big brother today. It's going to be so great – I bet Lila's going to be the luck- er, most fortunate little girl in the world to have a big brother like you around to protect her."

_**Show me your garden that's bursting into life**_

"We'll induce labor as soon as we fix this," Kelly murmured to her assisting interns. "There's no other way. She's lost a lot of blood and she won't be able to sustain the baby to full term anyway. As soon as she's stabilized, we're moving her into delivery."

_**Let's waste time**_

Patrick looked to the side, a muscle in his jaw ticking. He didn't know how to answer Jason's question. Carly's eyes bore into his as Jason weakly stood his ground, his liquid eyes betraying the depth of his anguish.

She wasn't that bad. She would make it. But he didn't think Jason would – not after seeing the man responsible on a stretcher in the adjoining OR.

_**Chasing cars**_

He didn't know how to answer, so he didn't.

"I have to go."

Carly's lips parted as the young doctor turned on his heel, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his white coat. "Wait – Patrick, you-"

"I have to go!"

She snapped her mouth shut at his frustrated yell, watching quietly as Patrick Drake broke out of his long stride to run straight down the hallway into the OR wing.

_**Around our heads**_

"This can't be happening."

Her heart ached for him as Jason sank to the floor, tucked against the door and safely out of the way of passing interns and orderlies.

"She's going to make it." Swallowing hard, Carly eased herself onto the floor and sat on her knees in front of him, her hands grasping his knees as the enforcer tucked them into his chest. "She made it this far, right? She made it past Manny and his cousin…she survived a gunfight on the hospital roof…she'll survive this, Jason."

_**I need your grace**_

He shook his head, a few glassy tears shattering on his rough, flushed cheeks. "She shouldn't have to. She wouldn't be-"

"Don't start." The sudden tightening of her hands on his knees broke him out of his stupor and Jason looked helplessly up into Carly's blue eyes. "This didn't happen because of you. It happened because of Lucky."

_**To remind me**_

"It doesn't matter right now," he answered in a raw, husky voice. "Because she's in the operating room and I'm out here, and I-I don't know what's going to happen."

"_I_ know what's going to happen." Her voice was soft as she unfolded her legs and sat on her bottom, scooting across the tiles until she was next to him. Jason's breathing was shallow and strained as she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and rested her head there.

"You're going to be a father tonight."

_**To find my own**_

"I'm here to assist."

Noah Drake looked up at the sound of his son's voice as Patrick strode into the OR in his scrubs. His boy's eyes were flashing as they honed in on the unconscious cop, and Noah didn't quite know what to make of it.

"I could use the help," he admitted, moving aside so his son could get closer to the damage. "Thank you, son."

_**If I lay here**_

"I'm not doing it for you."

Noah smirked to himself, misunderstanding his son's severe tone. "I wouldn't flatter myself, Patrick."

"I'm doing it for _Officer_ Lucky Spencer," the young doctor sneered, picking up his needle. "I'm going to make sure this bastard lives – so I can make sure he wishes he had died."

_**If I just lay here**_

Robin was still working, her hands moving at a feverish but deliberate pace, when she heard Kelly issuing orders to her interns.

"We're clear," she announced in the firm but quiet voice she always used on call, a drastic contrast to her normally outspoken and flirtatious demeanor. "Patient is stabilized. Close the wound and then start taking her off anesthesia."

She moved away from the table, heading straight for the door to scrub out and prepare a delivery room. On the way out, her grim obsidian eyes connected with Robin's solemn chestnut ones. The women nodded to each other and turned back to their work.

_**Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**_

"Mr., um…Jason?"

He looked up at the hesitant voice to find a profoundly sympathetic and overwhelmed Georgie Jones dressed in her scrubs. The young volunteer wrung her hands as her anxious hazel eyes darted from him to Carly and she cleared her throat before she could get a word out.

"They-They've moved Elizabeth into delivery. Dr. Lee's preparing to induce and…she said to come get you."

_**Forget what we're told**_

"Get that son of a bitch out of here," Patrick snarled, already whipping off his gloves as he strode away from the table. Noah looked over his shoulder at his boy, bewildered, and stepped away as the nurses wheeled the young officer of the law away into his room in the ICU.

"Patrick – Patrick, stop." He had to jog slightly to catch up to the younger man in the washroom that adjoined two ORs. "What's wrong with you? Why are you acting this way?"

"Which room did you send Officer Spencer to?"

Noah frowned at the hard look in his son's eyes as Patrick lathered up his hands to the elbow. "…214, ICU. Why?"

His son didn't answer. Instead, he simply dried his hands and turned on his heel, leaving the OR.

"Patrick!"

_**Before we get too old**_

"You're coming out of the haze," Kelly soothed as Elizabeth let out a low wail. "The anesthesia's wearing off, but we couldn't provide you with an epidural. You had a clean wound in your shoulder but it's fine. We're going to take you through this, Elizabeth – don't be afraid."

She should have told that to the young man at her side instead of the intoxicated mother. Jason gripped Elizabeth's hands like a lifeline, not even feeling her nails bite into his skin as the next contraction hit because he was afraid enough for the both of them.

_**Show me your garden that's bursting into life**_

"You're doing great," Kelly assured her friend. "We're real close, Elizabeth. You can do it, honey. Just a little longer."

"Crowning."

Jason had no idea what that meant but he knew it couldn't be good by the way Elizabeth screeched. She was already weak from the blood loss and the arm that wasn't currently wrapped up in his was resting at her side. She'd be needing a sling for it.

Kelly's bangs slipped into her eyes as she bent by the foot of the bed, inspecting their progress. The brunette's unearthly screeches ripped straight through to his core, and it was all Jason could do to hold onto her hand in his vice-like grip, letting her know with his strength that he was supporting her.

"She's coming out fine," the obstetrician praised. "You're doing good, Elizabeth."

"Head – the head's through."

He had seen a man die before, choking on his own blood for his last saving breath, but Jason Morgan suddenly realized that the sight was nothing compared to a woman giving birth…without heavy drugs.

He heard Kelly saying something about shoulders but the rest was a blur. All Jason heard were Elizabeth's moans and curses and the next thing he knew, all those sounds faded away into nothing as a single shrill, piercing cry could be heard in the room immediately proceeding a dull smacking sound.

He was positive that he couldn't breathe as he held Elizabeth's hand while she passed the afterbirth; just knowing that there was suddenly someone new in the room, someone he'd been waiting a very long time to finally meet, blew him away.

_**All that I am**_

Kelly was smiling, tears rimming her almond-shaped eyes as she slowly moved toward the bedside where Jason and a nurse were helping to prop Elizabeth up. She held a small pink bundle in her arms – a bundle that raised a tiny pink fist in the air as she lowered it for them to see.

"Here she is," the obstetrician whispered, passing the girl on to her mother and respectfully taking a step back as Elizabeth held her for the first time.

"Jason…"

_**All that I ever was**_

His heart fluttered at the brunette's breathless gasp and Jason leaned closer to the squirming florid bundle.

"Here's your little girl."

_**Is here in your perfect eyes**_

Elizabeth looked up at him with wide, amazed eyes as Jason stared down at the tiny creature. She was smaller than anything he'd ever seen – even smaller than Michael, a fellow preemie. Soft chestnut fuzz poked out of the opening in the swaddled blanket but all he could see were two circular orbs of purest cerulean.

_**They're all I can see**_

"Detective."

Patrick Drake stood his ground next to an occupied room in the Intensive Care Unit as he waited for the small squad of officers to approach. His father watched from further down the hall, quietly making his way closer so he could finally see what this was about.

Rodriguez moved slowly, deliberately as two unsure rookie cops tailed him. The young doctor stood firm, his hands clasped at the waist of his white coat.

All gunshot wounds that came into the hospital had to be reported immediately, and this case wasn't any different – even though it was to Patrick.

"Your man's right in here," he announced, pushing open the door to the room where Lucky Spencer lay sleeping in bed. Rodriguez said nothing and Noah watched as the detective pushed his way past his son, defeated and humiliated at having to take away one of his own.

_**I don't know where**_

"It's a girl."

Robin looked up at the sound of Kelly's voice immediately followed by the creak of the door to the OR swinging shut. Her smile went unseen underneath the blue mask.

"You hear that, Cameron? You're a big brother. You've got a new little sister that can't wait to meet you. Let's make sure we get to see her soon, okay?"

_**Confused about how as well**_

"Elizabeth…"

They had to talk.

They had known it wouldn't work when they talked the first time. But she wouldn't leave her husband – not when he needed her the most. Lucky understood what had happened that night at his penthouse. He understood it because he had no choice; after all, he had done the same thing, only more frequently and under worse circumstances.

But she stayed with him because she loved him, and Jason could understand that. Elizabeth's loyalty was the one thing he loved most about her. She never gave up on those that mattered to her, and Lucky had battled his addiction with her at his side.

Besides, it wasn't like he and Elizabeth were in love with each other and planning on raising their daughter as a happy family. If it was…things would have been much different.

Still, they needed to talk.

"Elizabeth, we…"

His voice died on his lips as he looked into her eyes, the amazed sapphire orbs that finally strayed from the miraculous creature cuddled against her breast.

Jason closed his mouth and settled down next to her, resting his cheek against her soft hair. She hadn't spoken since she had been brought in; they wouldn't be speaking now.

_**Just know that these things will never change for us at all**_

"She's in shock," Kelly observed quietly, her arms folded protectively over her chest as she slipped back into the room.

Jason didn't say anything. The enforcer merely sat still with his arms around his women. They'd reach out to him when they were ready. At present, the little one wanted nothing more than a mouthful and was sucking contentedly as her mother continued to sit dazed and weary on the high bed.

_**If I lay here**_

"Kelly…" He licked his lips and she was at his side immediately, bending closer to hear his strained whisper.

"What do you need?"

"I…" It was suddenly the hardest thing for him to say. "I need to know about Cameron."

"I was in the same operating room as him," she answered slowly. "Robin was the presiding surgeon. She's one of the best, and very well trained in drug abuse situations. She'll do her best-"

They were interrupted by movement at the door. Jason looked over just as Patrick approached, his face haggard and drawn as he peered guardedly through the door into the room.

Elizabeth saw him, too. Her wide, bright eyes strayed toward the tall doctor's figure but there was no spark of recognition in the normally expressive sapphire orbs.

_**If I just lay here**_

Her sights were still trained on him as Robin approached, stumbling slightly as she shuffled forward and into view. She wore the same scrubs from the operating room; her long hair was still pulled up into a messy bun underneath her scrub cap, the mask hanging limply around her neck like a weightless millstone.

The brunette's chestnut eyes were dazed as well, but carried the weight of the world as she slowly turned toward Elizabeth and Jason, huddled close together over the new life. Patrick reached out to her just as Robin let out a slow, trembling breath, and the baby let out a little murmur as the young doctor simply shook her head.

Her face crumpled when Jason bowed his head, and Patrick was the one to catch her as Robin finally began to weep. Elizabeth blinked in vague understanding, her arms still clutching the small bundle close to her chest.

_**Would you lie with me and just forget the world?**_

Title: Chasing Cars  
Artist: Snow Patrol

« _Last Edit:_ Feb 5, 2007, 12:08pm by Solo Ensemble »


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